Coffee With Rajendra - A Conversational Psychotherapy Experience

I have had a fairly good vocabulary. I believe that I think rationally and in an organised manner and express myself coherently. The conflict between my thoughts, statements, actions is also lesser today than they have been yesterday. Yet, there is a skill of communication that I have missed upon and am new to learning - energy communication or vibe communication. Though I have been practising it in some form, I hadn't identified it clearly before. My writings tended to appear like legal documents, and the vibe it created was sometimes that of antagonism as opposed to that of compersion. When in a communication, words and logics matter less than the vibe or energy level of participants, that's energy communication. It doesn't matter who said what. What matters is the energy - was the colour of expression green or red or other? were the vibes comforting or fear inducing?  Imagine yourself sitting opposite to someone, and observing rays of many colours coming out of the mouth...

Just as there are human rights, child rights, animal rights, Imagine if there were Feelings' Rights. Every feeling, henceforth, would have The Right to be Felt, The Right to be Expressed, The Right to be Acknowledged, The Right to Equal Opportunity - of channelisation into productive pursuits, Right to be Educated until maturity. Further, As the source of feelings is within, Violation of Feeling rights would be treated at par with child rights violations. Suppression of a feeling would be akin to suffocating a child, In extreme cases, maybe akin to child murder. Violent expressions of a feeling by its person would be, akin to tresspassing by a minor, the person responsible be sent to the school of Emotional Education, and the feeling be provided a safe avenue to breathe in. People be sending their feelings to school, feeling proud at the number of feelings they are able to provide nurturance to, for these feelings are what remains the only difference, between natural humans and art...

I recently added a new word to my vocabulary: Attunement, while listening to the audiobook Polysecure by Jessica Fern. Attunement refers to the adaptations one makes in their attitude and behaviour in response to verbal and non-verbal cues one receives from their partner. Attunement is a constant process and requires time and attention. Often it happens that we fall out of tune with people we have been associated with for years. It seems like we no more vibe together. Psychology influencers on social media often use the word 'outgrow' for this phenomenon. The attitude underlying the word 'outgrow' is that staying in the relationship would restrict growth of one of the person while autonomy for both would be beneficial for growth. This perspective has limitations as it ignores the fact that autonomy and connection both are our basic needs in every relationship. Sometimes, we feel the need for autonomy much heightened than at other times when we crave for connection. The ...

  Anne Marie's 'Friends' music video is the expression of frustration of a woman who is irritated by repeated emotional expressions of one of her friends. Her concept of FRIEND is close to BROTHER rather than to LOVER. When her friend approaches her with "I love you", she finds it difficult to process it so much so that she herself gets close to being 'crazy'. She is particularly troubled by "that look in his eyes" - the look reeking of hope of more compassionate consideration, or sympathy, or lust, or romantic hopes - what the look is hasn't been made clear. Anne Marie has made no effort to enquire into the needs that lie behind the look in her friends' eyes, and whether any of those needs are legitimate and within her capacity to fulfil. She assumes the need behind the look to be something she is not ready to see or entertain or consider. Anne's statement "I know you like since we were 10" hints to her belief that love may...

(This article is written in style of verbal speech. There are grammar errors, disorder, and irrational, unscientific usage of terms.) Human mind is analogous to a computer operating system. It consists of many softwares, or programs. Any new information, or input, or a new program, coming into the system, interacts with installed programs. Installed programs process the new information, utilising cpu power, memory, and other resources. If a new information or code is unable to be processed by the system due to any incompatibility or any conflict anywhere with any program, the system tries to resolve compatibility issues by finding a way out of the deadlock. This conflict resolution is part of the processing of the input. It plays role in learning, concept formation, personal evolution and development. The process requires cpu processing power, active memory, storage memory, and other resources. Non availability of some resources can cause the process to take long time. Thousands of pro...