Coffee With Rajendra - A Conversational Psychotherapy Experience

On an island of fanaticism, Folks were obsessed with hats. Though it was available in plenty, and easy Finding the right fit was difficult perhaps. For my folks preferred what is appeasing to eyes, but not necessarily a comfortable wear, It wasn't a wonder that they clouded their own vision, and had bruises behind the ear. One fine day, a lady visited my friend's hat shop. Glad as she was to have found hats of comfortable fit, She was taken aback by the lack of red flowers in it. Fixated on the red flower, and unable to visualise new, Comfortable ones she put aside from view; And decided to choose the pain that seemed familiar - The same old bruises behind the ear.

I remember a quote of Brian Greene that I read when I was in class 11 and used to study physics deeply - this quote motivated me: "My best teachers were not the ones who knew all the answers, but those who were deeply excited by questions they couldn't answer." This quote enticed me to be inquisitive, and also nudged me to be respectful of teachers who didn't very well know the subject they were teaching, but were trying to learn themselves. I had some such teachers in school and they were looked down upon, mocked and ignored by some classmates. I tried to learn from everywhere I can, and talked with and asked questions from these teachers too. I often received faulty answers, yet I was able to get clues to get to the right point. I was able to recognise my own wrongs when I saw them in others. More Quotes of Brian Greene:  Sometimes attaining the deepest familiarity with a question is our best substitute for actually having the answer. The boldness of asking deep qu...

My way is my way. It might not be the best, but I'm sure it isn't evil either - and even if it is to a degree, it still is good enough. And good enough is good enough. Some content I came across having the same theme: seeing contentment on path less traveled by - by being true to ourselves : Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken Frank Sinatra's song My Way Ava Max's My Way Ava Max's So Am I -------------------- The Road Not Taken - by Robert Frost Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim,  Because it was grassy and wanted wear, Though as for that passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if...

Nothing brings us closer to our purpose than a contemplation of death, or perhaps a real brush with death - a near miss. It's only when we recognise the quintessential nature of human life, that we get the courage to follow our heart without petty fears of acceptance or reputation - for we know these risks are nothing compared to the risk of having to leave earth with regrets of not having lived to our full potential. Death doesn't have to be a fear inducing thought, it can rather be a deep though dark source of calmness. We are spared from the torments of petty anxieties when we accept that we are probably just minutes away from being struck by death,  that nothing is permanent, and that all the petty worries we are carrying the load of - in the end they won't even matter.

In some instances our behaviour is consistent with our highest moral standards, at others we encounter dilemmas and act in ways that make us question ourselves "Was that me? Is this me?". Such inconsistencies are symptoms of deep anxiety and can be understood in terms of the dialectic between the Id and SuperEgo. First used by Sigmund Freud as a analytical framework. the concepts of Id and SuperEgo find parallels in other similar concepts, such as George Herbert Mead's 'I' or 'social self' or 'self-image' and 'Me' or 'personal self' or 'self-awareness', and are crucial in psychoanalysis. Our self-image or superego consists of qualities that receive easy psychological oxygen and is approved of and rewarded by society. It consists of pronouncements such as - I am right, I am just, I am truthful, I honour promises, I don't betray, I do my duty. Our self-awareness or Id is our more intimate, raw, emotional and unpredictable ...

Motivated people often have a strong positive reference group - an imaginary social group with characteristics considered as desirable and worth following, and a negative reference group - a culture one looks at with disdain and hatred. We deploy our intensity of adoration and disgust for these groups as a marker of our identity - "I love this. I hate that.". Not having intense reference groups is characteristic of indecisive people, while too intense an attachment with reference groups can be a sign of emotional illness. We attach too strongly with reference groups when we are devoid of such attachment from people in our proximity - creating a condition termed by sociologists as 'The Marginal Man' : Someone who doesn't feel belonged with social group he lives in, while struggling to gain acceptance in the social group he aspires to be a part of. Our socialisation process makes use of these imaginary reference groups to provide us guidance and disincentivise the d...

We all are wrong in some manner or the other. We all are villain in someone's life. Bhishm Pitamah (Mahabharat) was held responsible by Amba for her misfortune. Surpankha (Ramayan) couldn't possibly have forgiven Laxman with any amount of reason, justification, or even revenge. Some pains are unsoothable, some desires unsatiable. Instead of denying our wrongs and defending ourselves under the veil of self-righteousness - whereby we look for ways to blame others for everything that is wrong with ourselves - we should instead accept the wrongs of ourselves and others as inevitable natural course. Instead of fearing being wrong, we should accept wrong as normal, and even necessary for human evolution and growth. Moral upliftment is important for positive evolution of mankind. But, falling down is alright too, albeit unavoidable for people who are adventurous and open for new experiences. When moving in an uncharted territory, we are bound to encounter unexpected problems and chall...

One thing I adore about Ariana very much is her offensive confidence and calm cynicism. She isn't agitated in the face of criticism, but builds herself up and elevates herself. 'God is a woman' song gives me good vibes always. I don't pay much attention to lyrics, rather what entices me is her attitude. She places herself at the centre of her universe. The kind of attitude she exhibits inspires one to survive in the world of snobs with one simple technique - The subtle art of not giving a fuck.  Self-love is an essential prerequisite to love others. One can worship oneself without looking down upon others. It shouldn't have to be treated as arrogance, but pride. Though there is a thin line between the two - and arrogance is often a symptom of being insecure about one's own self-worth, we still should inculcate into our lives some rituals of self love that remind us of the only goddess we can rely upon - ourselves. Coming to the lyrics, 'God is a woman' i...