Jolene : Miley Cyrus : A psychodynamic probe

Above are two music videos from one of my adored artists - Miley Cyrus. One, Flowers, published on her youtube channel two years ago, and the second, recently published on her youtube channel, Jolene.

Flowers has been an anthem of self-sufficiency, emotional independence and unapologetic acceptance of the self. It resonates with emotional dispositions of the ones who value a (romantic) partnership on the criteria of the extent of its meaningful contribution to their life, joy, and love. When partnerships show no hope of elevating our life experiences, when it seems that one would benefit more by channeling their energies towards self love than to expend energy towards a relationship which doesn't reciprocate benefits proportional to the efforts the participants put in, more often due to the participants' misattunements rather than due to any malevolent tendency on either side that they would be aware of, a pruning of the unhealthy attachments offers a way out of the frustrations of unmet expectations - towards a more sorted life with lesser mess. It marks a move of strength, that places oneself on a footing, from where one can enter a relationship from a position of self respect rather than out of desperate neediness. Flowers is worthy of praise for the emotional support it grants to those alone, those abandoned, those whose hopes have been shattered to the extent that renders them - in their words - incapable of trusting again, or developing any needs from others at all.

Jolene, on the other hand has vibes that older english songs usually carry - the emotional vulnerability, humility, expression of needs without shame, expression of insecurities without fear of humiliation. It resonates with emotional dispositions of more healthily attached partnerships, where partners acknowledge and understand the human fragility of their counterparts, and, to some extent, try to manage the external environmental factors that could affect their relationship while also working from within to maintain the internal security to bolster resilience against adversaries. Jolene doesn't put all onus of maintaining one's commitments upon themselves but makes fulfilment of each person's obligations a responsibility of the participants in the relationship collectively. It marks a shift from Flowers' tendency of fixing responsibility for wrongs that happen to a more mature tendency of collectively working, inside and outside, to reduce the chances of wrongs happening on the end of even the ones on the other side. It shifts a relationship dynamics from that of people on opposite sides to that of people on the same side, a team. It understands that trust is never broken, it is only ruptured, and repaired, and again ruptured and again repaired - this is how the relationships move ahead - through inevitable rupture, and with collective effort - the repair.

Future of humanity would likely have more people without jobs, leaving more free time for relationships and meaningful pursuits. Emotional and personal conflicts are likely to rise to higher levels than has previously been in times where work and survival concerns consumed most of our time. Self-sufficiency vs. Synergistic emotional interdependence would remain a matter which would shape personalities, relationships and the future of our society. What's crucial is that we acknowledge the fallibility, the weaknesses, inherent of being human - in those close to ourselves - and imbibe a sense of teamhood that enables the people in our close circle to move ahead of weaknesses to the full potential they can synergistically bring to the group - that meaningfully elevates the life experiences for all.