The real father of Preksha's child

Hi. I'm Preksha, 28, a married woman. I work as a clerk in a government owned post office. I have been in an emotionally intimate relationship for 7 years with a college mate of mine, Animesh. Our relationship has seen ups and downs but overall we have received mutual nurturance through it. Three years ago, our relationship saw a brief period of rupture when time came for my marriage. I could only marry within my caste, to protect my parents' dignity and reputation in their social circle. I surrendered to their wishes without much resistance. I had seen a cousin of mine struggle with her family, the resulting mass trauma and emotional drag was something I wished to avoid in my life.

My parents started showing me prospects for marriage. I didn't abhor or hate the traditional marriage system like many of my friends do. I saw it as something that was group oriented rather than individual oriented. I didn't have much preferences for my partner-to-be. I would accept any decent person without evaluating them on too many unnecessary factors like my parents do. Though I was all-accepting, I went through crucifying evaluation and comparison for my height, beauty, wealth. Some prospects wanted a house-wife, which is okay, but why did they come to meet me when they already knew I was a working woman! I didn't really have the heart to evaluate or rank anyone. I wasn't able to reply when my parents asked me which one is better. I wasn't looking for the best, but someone just good enough. Good enough in intelligence, finances, relationships, empathy, survival. Then, I met Shankar. He seemed similar to me in temperament and financial status. We were married soon. 

It's been three years of my marriage. Shankar is kind and open-hearted. He's more of a parent rather than a partner. He is caring, keeps everything organised, maintains right work-life balance, and rarely messes things up. I like the stability and security he adds to my emotional life. When he came to know of my history with Animesh, he expressed desire to meet him. We went out to dinner together. Shankar didn't restrict me from going out with Animesh or spending time with him. He realised that my time with Animesh is enlivening to me and adds spark and thrill to my life. Shankar proposed to me that we open our marriage, so that my relationship with Animesh isn't regulated or controlled by my marriage. The arrangement somehow worked out. We were now more able to be more honest in each other's presence. I was now sexually intimate with both of them, they didn't have any other partners. It was like formation of a V shaped polycule. I read some books on polyamory to maintain right habits in me relationships for their long term success and to maintain right boundaries with each for managing jealousy, strengthening security and creating a loving environment.

Three months ago, I got pregnant. It was unplanned, and I didn't know if the child is my husband's or that of Animesh. I was stressed about legitimacy of the child as Animesh was not my legal partner. Our arrangement was secretive and limited only to us. Our families didn't know about it. When I expressed my worry to Shankar, his response was reassuring. He said, " It doesn't emotionally matter to me, who the biological father of the child is. I care that biological father should be someone without genetic disorders and inheritable diseases, other than that the bloodline doesn't matter to me. When we married I committed to co-parent children with you. Whoever you adopt, or give birth to, should receive nurturance from all sources he can, and also through me. What matters to me is that you shall not block my love and nurturance from being received by the child at any point in time. I want to caress, protect, and nurture our children together. If Animesh too wishes to participate in responsible parenting, we shall involve him too. He could provide care when I'm outstation or unavailable. The child should have all the love he needs. My interest in child is not that of ownership, but of nurturance - contribution to flourishment of a life. You need not worry about genes, I'm the legal father of this child. I'm okay with him having other loving father-figures too." He further added, "A real father is the one who provides real nurturance, that helps a child grow into a decent person who is able to live joyfully with awareness, and navigate through life's problems with ease and foresightedness. Genes won't matter much in the goals I'm aiming at."

I already knew he would say something like this, yet the words overwhelmed me with joy. I kisses his lips, and gripped him with a bite on his lower lip, pushing him to walk backwards until he fell on bed. I couldn't let go.