Logistical limitations of acceptance

'Acceptance from others' often alludes to a sense of ease one experiences in being around them. How freely can one move around, look around or into their eyes without a sense of embarassment, sing what comes to mind, say what comes to mind, ask for what one needs, without fear, shame or guilt, and be met with a response that appreciates and fulfils one's need as opposed to a response that doesn't acknowledge or meet one's needs.

With the hope of true belongingness in someone or somewhere, one tends to assume that there would be someone, or somewhere, where one could be wholly his/her true self; that there would be 100% acceptance and no more suppression, censorship, or diplomacy - that there would finally be honesty, and truth. In moments of hope combined with cynicism, one tends to think "are the relations where we can't be ourselves even worth it?". 

The questions one should ask oneself in such context are -
- What is our true self ? 
- Is there any person in company of whom all of our selves can exist ? 
- Even when one is met with an environment that seems to be fully accepting of them, one should, before weaving bridges of hope, ask - will this acceptance remain even when I change ?

If I had to define interpersonal acceptance, I would define it as "one's ability to acknowledge, comprehend, and accommodate realities other than one's own, concepts and schemas of persons other than oneself". Going by this foundation, it would arguably be impossible for a person to wholly accept another person. The constraint is not due to a lack of compassion, love, or altruism. Rather, the constraints are logistical in nature. Human experiences are highly subjective. Mental concepts - meanings and notions people see in anything, are formed differently in different people due to differences in the history of their experiences. The task of attending to concepts other than one's own causes interference with concepts already existing in our psyche due to previous learning. New information interacts, modifies, conflicts, and requires to be reconciled and processed. This process requries energy as well as tools, techniques, emotional education, and lots of free time - resources which aren't as available as they ought to be due to busy and demanding social environments and work cultures. Hence, acceptance is logistically limited.

Instead of judging people, who couldn't accept us to our satisfaction, for not loving us enough, or for not being human enough, we may rather acknowledge the follies and limitations of human psyche and not close our hearts to what life has to offer. We might have to live around or be with people who can't comprehend certain aspects of our realities. Instead of suffocating in such environments, we may expand ourselves and build our 'extension selves' - a self we create to be able to workably exist around certain people. We may have to live together with parents who need our care, work somewhere to earn our livelihood - there are companies we need to meet certain necessities. Creating 'extension selves' doesn't mean self-manipulation or self-negation. All of our previous selves have developed in a similar fashion, only this time the process is a conscious one. 

One experiences different forms of acceptance in different environments, with different people. Different aspects of our being come alive, and find nurturance, in companies of different people. People accept and love us to their respective capacities of different incomparable natures. Let oneself be reborn everyday, and grow and expand to let life be experienced in its varied forms.