Bewafaa - Explained
Bewafas are a class of people, typically shown in many Bollywood songs, as exhibiting these characteristics :
- Ignorance - They tend to be ignorant to others' emotions and to be self-centred/ self-obsessed. They also tend to assume that their perception of what's real is more true than others' perception of truth/reality. They even resort to manipulative gaslighting when their version of reality isn't sufficiently acknowledged. They are sometimes narcissistic, and emotionally bankrupt.
- Lack of integrity - their actions do not measure up to their words. One day you might be their world, the next day they might turn the world against you. 'Your word is your Bond' doesn't apply to them.
- Disorganised belief system - they tend to have a mess of an internal organisation. Their statements do not follow logical coherence over time. If the mind is analogous to a library, wherein memories are stored as books are stored in separate shelves with a way to find them, the mind of bewafas' is like a library managed by a novice who keeps anything anywhere and struggles to keep things in order.
- Moody - they tend to lack sufficient degree of self-restraint and let their moods dominate their behaviour. This, normally, gives their personality a vibrance and aliveness, however, it becomes problematic when their worst instincts overpower their rationality. They exist at instinctual level, with not sufficient insights into higher levels of intellect and intuition, and behave in ways that cause self-sabotage in the long term. They are not capable of taking care of their own long-term interests.
- Emotional bipolarity - they tend to experience extremities of emotions and generally do not feel mature emotions of guilt, melancholy without an external nudge.
When we consider these characteristics in their full spectrum, we realise that bewafas are not evil. They are just immature people with insufficiently developed internal organisation, insecurities, self-deprivations.
Bewafas make mistakes. Sometimes they go too far based on a premise that they don't fully agree with, only to realise the mistake later and flip upon commitments, causing inadvertent hurt.
A relationship with someone prone to bewafai might sometimes turn into one-sided flow and even exploitation, then again, the detached lover requires to create structures and boundaries that limit his damages and outflow. Accusations or arguments won't help. Bewafas will rise in confidence and reply to you as in the song below :
To conclude:
Bewafas deserve to be loved, not shamed or guilt-trapped. It is not for boys (or girls) to love bewafas, they need real men (or women) - who can love without too much attachment, who let them grow at their own pace while only providing them with the helping hand. They require a very mature form of love from someone who is very self-sufficient and whose life wouldn't be impacted negatively if he/she were to leave today. They require parental love - forgiving, unconditional.