Agreement and security in relationships
Recently, an incidence happened in which I agreed to lend something to a friend and later I showed weakness in my own agreement when another of my friend advised against it. I flipped to deny lending to him, and then conceded again and offered to lend to him. The ground that I was standing upon appeared shaky to him. I felt ashamed of this incidence as it conflicted with my self-conception, because I see myself as someone who does not over-commit. Did I really violate an agreement ? Why wasn't I strong in my position ? I introspected and was reminded of the concept of agreement and consent that I read in the book More Than Two by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert. An agreement is a pact, between two or more parties, reached upon through a discussion that involves the say of all the people who ought to be affected by the agreement, without disempowering anyone. In a discussion before an agreement, different people may have different levels of power and influence over the discussion, a...